Monday, December 25, 2006
Without Grace
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Life in mono- is waking up alone, and going to work alone.Reading the messages that appear on my mobile, and grimacing to myself, sometimes.Driving past Brazil (all you can eat meat) and smiling absently to myself.Remembering what it was like to hold, and be held by her. Especially when the world seemed to be crumbling apart around me - somehow just being in her arms made it all seem all right again.Somehow things really did seem easier when she was around.
Life in mono - is tiding through the still of the night with a paper in my hand, and a void by my side, where she used to be.
*********
Monday, December 25, 2006
I was so wrong.
Without Grace
Life in Silence -
Waking up alone, going to work alone.
No more messages on my mobile.
Battling the demons in my head, alone, now.
Driving past :
Brazil, and watching you, and I, laugh, and eat till we were exploding
Detlef's old place, the flat above, and good friends, and laughter and watching their love for each other, watching them dance Tango Argentina, and taking the lift down to the carpark beneath
Catherine's place, upstairs, and downstairs, being held gently by you as my world tumbled down around me, wanting to be held by you forever
The Botanic Gardens, fingers at the ready, eyes taunting each other, circling warily but laughing so much inside, and out loud
The junction at Raffles City where you spoke about Rinaldi, and my heart broke for you
The Oriental Hotel, and Mortons, the bar, Morton's, the restaurant
The National Durian Center
The Ugly Fat Bird on the Waterfront
The walk near the Esplanade, sun on my skin, dozing with you
St Ignatius' Church, which you found cosy
The Fullerton Hotel, rushing hand in hand with you, battling through the New Year crowds and ignoring the placid fireworks in the sky
The Bar in the Fullerton, where we took that photo, you, in the hat, gorgeous witch
The Pool Place, watching C and V with you, my equal, my love. Discussing them.
Que Pasa, watching you charm my friends
Casa Roma, D and C giving me the eye when you went to the toilet, a lovely lady, he said, and I smiled and looked down
Loof, you were so beautiful, in white
Harry's, waterfront
White pepper crab
Cantina
Iggys
The plastics on call room
...no more absent smiles now.
Life in silence is tiding through the hectic swarm of yet another on-call, with a void by my side, and an ache in my heart, and asking God to please quell this rising fear within me, each time it rears its ugly head. She left my side, but she hasn't left my head, and my heart.
I am your soldier now God, I give You my faith, my sword, and my heart; do as you will to me, but protect Her, guide Her, keep Her happy, and warm, and safe, and calm, and keep her laughing, and keep her faith which broke for us, in You, forever.
Life in mono- is waking up alone, and going to work alone.Reading the messages that appear on my mobile, and grimacing to myself, sometimes.Driving past Brazil (all you can eat meat) and smiling absently to myself.Remembering what it was like to hold, and be held by her. Especially when the world seemed to be crumbling apart around me - somehow just being in her arms made it all seem all right again.Somehow things really did seem easier when she was around.
Life in mono - is tiding through the still of the night with a paper in my hand, and a void by my side, where she used to be.
*********
Monday, December 25, 2006
I was so wrong.
Without Grace
Life in Silence -
Waking up alone, going to work alone.
No more messages on my mobile.
Battling the demons in my head, alone, now.
Driving past :
Brazil, and watching you, and I, laugh, and eat till we were exploding
Detlef's old place, the flat above, and good friends, and laughter and watching their love for each other, watching them dance Tango Argentina, and taking the lift down to the carpark beneath
Catherine's place, upstairs, and downstairs, being held gently by you as my world tumbled down around me, wanting to be held by you forever
The Botanic Gardens, fingers at the ready, eyes taunting each other, circling warily but laughing so much inside, and out loud
The junction at Raffles City where you spoke about Rinaldi, and my heart broke for you
The Oriental Hotel, and Mortons, the bar, Morton's, the restaurant
The National Durian Center
The Ugly Fat Bird on the Waterfront
The walk near the Esplanade, sun on my skin, dozing with you
St Ignatius' Church, which you found cosy
The Fullerton Hotel, rushing hand in hand with you, battling through the New Year crowds and ignoring the placid fireworks in the sky
The Bar in the Fullerton, where we took that photo, you, in the hat, gorgeous witch
The Pool Place, watching C and V with you, my equal, my love. Discussing them.
Que Pasa, watching you charm my friends
Casa Roma, D and C giving me the eye when you went to the toilet, a lovely lady, he said, and I smiled and looked down
Loof, you were so beautiful, in white
Harry's, waterfront
White pepper crab
Cantina
Iggys
The plastics on call room
...no more absent smiles now.
Life in silence is tiding through the hectic swarm of yet another on-call, with a void by my side, and an ache in my heart, and asking God to please quell this rising fear within me, each time it rears its ugly head. She left my side, but she hasn't left my head, and my heart.
I am your soldier now God, I give You my faith, my sword, and my heart; do as you will to me, but protect Her, guide Her, keep Her happy, and warm, and safe, and calm, and keep her laughing, and keep her faith which broke for us, in You, forever.
