Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Happiness and Grief
Happiness?
"after (the ex), have u been happy?"
Happiness, like grief, is such a subjective thing.
Have I been happy? I think I've been happier. I learnt to laugh again, and I learnt to appreciate my liberty, and my own company more.
In between I've had the usual share of frustrations, almost attractions, disappointments, and peroids of anger and upset.
I've laughed a lot, but I haven't really been laughing for real ... from that elusive place deep inside me where true happiness emanates from.
That's something I've been missing ever since K.
*****
Grief
Ask any medical student in the UK what "grief" is, and chances are their eyes will glaze over as they intone the mantra "Kubler-Ross, on Grief and Bereavement, chapter 1..."
Or, if they're like me, they'll just smile foolishly and say something about missing those lectures on a sunny summer afternoon in favour of a nice pint of Stella...
Anyway, Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist (yes, she's dead now, and long may the world mourn her in the ways she saw fit) who defined grief, in terms of stages. They aren't chronological phases, one doesn't necessarily follow the other... but to her mind at least, it gave her a framework with which to identify grief, and recognise "normal" grieving (which, although not chronological, had to necessarily culminate in acceptance. How weird is that?)
The stages Kubler-Ross identified were:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
"after (the ex), have u been happy?"
Happiness, like grief, is such a subjective thing.
Have I been happy? I think I've been happier. I learnt to laugh again, and I learnt to appreciate my liberty, and my own company more.
In between I've had the usual share of frustrations, almost attractions, disappointments, and peroids of anger and upset.
I've laughed a lot, but I haven't really been laughing for real ... from that elusive place deep inside me where true happiness emanates from.
That's something I've been missing ever since K.
*****
Grief
Ask any medical student in the UK what "grief" is, and chances are their eyes will glaze over as they intone the mantra "Kubler-Ross, on Grief and Bereavement, chapter 1..."
Or, if they're like me, they'll just smile foolishly and say something about missing those lectures on a sunny summer afternoon in favour of a nice pint of Stella...
Anyway, Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist (yes, she's dead now, and long may the world mourn her in the ways she saw fit) who defined grief, in terms of stages. They aren't chronological phases, one doesn't necessarily follow the other... but to her mind at least, it gave her a framework with which to identify grief, and recognise "normal" grieving (which, although not chronological, had to necessarily culminate in acceptance. How weird is that?)
The stages Kubler-Ross identified were:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
