Sunday, August 07, 2005
Looking for Love
Actually, no, re-minisce is (most emphatically) not looking for lurrrve.
This post was inspired by a conversation this morning that I don't really remember anymore (sleep deprivation and too much swimming can do that to a guy. I think some of the water got into my brain, and my shoulders are hurting so bad...)
So it's hard for a guy like re-minisce to fall in love, because, well, he just doesn't do it often. And while we're being honest, re-minisce also gets tired of people after a while (men and women both, policy of non descrimination applies) and usually chooses ridiculously silly things as the reason to go off them (in his head... he doesn't tell them of course, else he'd have fewer friends than he does now)... things as silly as having hairy arms.
Problems arise when he meets a girl with hairy arms that he likes, (headcount so far, one) in which case the clear and present Double Standards become apparent to him. But no matter, he just doesn't think about it that much. Universal coping mechanism - head in sand technique.
So falling in love, then, is a factor of time (too tired to illustrate with graphs tonight, and I'm on call tomorrow...) and continued... err... likingness, right?
But no, re-minisce is also the type of guy who wants to fall in love early, if not at "hello2. (Or, in very rare and select instances, at "Bang, you're Dead, man!")
That ought to be pretty dang obvious, no? Guy meets girl, guy falls head over heels over her. How much more simple can it get.
Unfortunately, re-minisce is unnecessarily complicated (see below).
So when he does fall head over heels (headcount so far, 1.39, the .39 being the cumulative "yes! sorta... almost... nahs" that have occurred to date, aka transient crushes) for a woman, what he automatically does is go into denial.
So he can't even tell himself when he's falling, because his midbrain tells his cerebellum that he's not. He's not. Ok? Not. And being gullible like he is, he believes it.
So that's the problem. Someone asks him if he's falling for a girl...
1) if he isn't, he pauses, and says, naaah I don't think so
2) if he is, he... pauses, and says, naaah I don't think.. so.
It can be pretty subtle, them five dots. Too subtle even for re-minisce to discern.
*****
Unnecessarily Complicated
Experience tells me that nobody is going to understand what I'm going to try to get at here.
Some of you may even take offence.
I don't care, my shoulders hurt and I'm on call tomorrow and I'm tired. So there.
Anyway, it struck me recently that our education system here is unnecessarily... complicated.
It has hoops for you to leap through, in order to achieve a different tier in society.
Yes, I know these tiers are artificial constructs, and sometimes in certain industries (eg modelling, where beauty transcends brains, speech, and rationalthought) being a diploma or degree holder counts for nothing.
-- disclaimer
And I know that these tiers don't come into play at all when gauging the measure of a person. NS taught me that great people come from all walks of life, and fools are born, not made.
Air level people aren't any worse than primary six dropouts - nor are they any better. It's not the size of your paper that matters - nor how you use it - but whats in your heart.
--
But by and large, in this society we live in, the tiers exist for the layman. Not everyone can be a Sim Wong Whositwhatsit. Not all of us get the same breaks, or form the same contacts.
And that's why the eternal paperchase in Singapore - to secure a better future, to cosset yourself with, or coddle your kids with.
But think about it. The tiers come into play long before we develop the will to choose our destinies.
Streaming encompasses -
Normal
Express
O level
A level
JC
ITE
poly
It's almost bizarre, to my mind. Do we really need so many different streams? Who came up with it anyhow -- who died and made them God?
And more importantly, and more telling - are any of them poly grads?
The divide, to my mind, is artificial.
Run back several generations, and most of us have more or less similar migrant parentages (some rich, many poor, all arriving to build uncertain futures for their progeny)
Then suddenly a brave new generation emerges and there are a gazillion tiers, the products of each being shunted off into "appropriate" careers with "commensurate" pay brackets.
One "mis-step" as a child in secondary school... one moment of fatigue, or of laziness, or missing one's friends, or being born into less-than-affluence - and your destiny is altered forever.
Oh yeah, and climbing up the ladder from a "lower" to "higher" tier is of course in theory possible - but in reality nigh unachievable - because the societal "tiers" also encompass mindsets and stereotypes which are difficult to escape from.
I dunno, but in a country as affluent as ours... with such a low unemployment rate and an efficiency index of just about 21024120, I don't see why a free education for everyone isn't possible. A uniform and default free education, say up to JC, with the option of continuing to uni, or not.
The counter arguments are obvious.
Money, money, and money -- but I think we all know by now just how vast the country's reserves are, and heck, with the advent of government sanctionedgambling dens um whorehouses of sin err Integrated Resorts (haha, you integrate your money into their coffers) one suspects the reserves will grow even larger.
Aren't these the kinds of things reserves are meant to be spent on? Healthcare and education?
The other argument is that not everyone is smart enough to go through JC.
And I think there's some small merit to that argument... but so what? So what if people drop out of a free education, and go on to become unskilled labour? Why do they need to be pegged early-on as potential unskilled labour, and trained into... slightly more skilled labourers?
The questions just keep bubbling up inside me. Why, why and why? And who dreamt up the system?
And the answer, of course is You are Not a Politician, so just stop asking these stupid questions.
(ie, 42.)
*****
Once upon a time, re-minisce's mother forbade his brother from (hypothetically) even dreaming of marrying the Sarabat Stall Owner's daughter.
I believe the idealogy was in keeping with "Love the woman you marry, don't marry the woman you love".
When faced with the usual stoic silence, but with a new and uncharacteristic derisive laughter (and a short voiceclip that in short, spelt out that she was crazy), she turned to re-minisce for moral support.
And was stunned when re-minisce backed-up his brother. (although, at the time re-minisce was madly in love with a woman who not only scored a ridiculous number of A1s at her O levels, but went on to become some very important doctor somewhere out there in the world)
After the stunning-by-proxy wore off, the tongue lashing she delivered was quite spectacular.
Anyway, re-minisce is much older now, and much more world weary.
And you know what?
If he fell in love with the Sarabat Stall Owners daughter...
... he sure as hell would marry her, anyway.
We only have one life to live...
...I want to live mine my way.
This post was inspired by a conversation this morning that I don't really remember anymore (sleep deprivation and too much swimming can do that to a guy. I think some of the water got into my brain, and my shoulders are hurting so bad...)
So it's hard for a guy like re-minisce to fall in love, because, well, he just doesn't do it often. And while we're being honest, re-minisce also gets tired of people after a while (men and women both, policy of non descrimination applies) and usually chooses ridiculously silly things as the reason to go off them (in his head... he doesn't tell them of course, else he'd have fewer friends than he does now)... things as silly as having hairy arms.
Problems arise when he meets a girl with hairy arms that he likes, (headcount so far, one) in which case the clear and present Double Standards become apparent to him. But no matter, he just doesn't think about it that much. Universal coping mechanism - head in sand technique.
So falling in love, then, is a factor of time (too tired to illustrate with graphs tonight, and I'm on call tomorrow...) and continued... err... likingness, right?
But no, re-minisce is also the type of guy who wants to fall in love early, if not at "hello2. (Or, in very rare and select instances, at "Bang, you're Dead, man!")
That ought to be pretty dang obvious, no? Guy meets girl, guy falls head over heels over her. How much more simple can it get.
Unfortunately, re-minisce is unnecessarily complicated (see below).
So when he does fall head over heels (headcount so far, 1.39, the .39 being the cumulative "yes! sorta... almost... nahs" that have occurred to date, aka transient crushes) for a woman, what he automatically does is go into denial.
So he can't even tell himself when he's falling, because his midbrain tells his cerebellum that he's not. He's not. Ok? Not. And being gullible like he is, he believes it.
So that's the problem. Someone asks him if he's falling for a girl...
1) if he isn't, he pauses, and says, naaah I don't think so
2) if he is, he... pauses, and says, naaah I don't think.. so.
It can be pretty subtle, them five dots. Too subtle even for re-minisce to discern.
*****
Unnecessarily Complicated
Experience tells me that nobody is going to understand what I'm going to try to get at here.
Some of you may even take offence.
I don't care, my shoulders hurt and I'm on call tomorrow and I'm tired. So there.
Anyway, it struck me recently that our education system here is unnecessarily... complicated.
It has hoops for you to leap through, in order to achieve a different tier in society.
Yes, I know these tiers are artificial constructs, and sometimes in certain industries (eg modelling, where beauty transcends brains, speech, and rationalthought) being a diploma or degree holder counts for nothing.
-- disclaimer
And I know that these tiers don't come into play at all when gauging the measure of a person. NS taught me that great people come from all walks of life, and fools are born, not made.
Air level people aren't any worse than primary six dropouts - nor are they any better. It's not the size of your paper that matters - nor how you use it - but whats in your heart.
--
But by and large, in this society we live in, the tiers exist for the layman. Not everyone can be a Sim Wong Whositwhatsit. Not all of us get the same breaks, or form the same contacts.
And that's why the eternal paperchase in Singapore - to secure a better future, to cosset yourself with, or coddle your kids with.
But think about it. The tiers come into play long before we develop the will to choose our destinies.
Streaming encompasses -
Normal
Express
O level
A level
JC
ITE
poly
It's almost bizarre, to my mind. Do we really need so many different streams? Who came up with it anyhow -- who died and made them God?
And more importantly, and more telling - are any of them poly grads?
The divide, to my mind, is artificial.
Run back several generations, and most of us have more or less similar migrant parentages (some rich, many poor, all arriving to build uncertain futures for their progeny)
Then suddenly a brave new generation emerges and there are a gazillion tiers, the products of each being shunted off into "appropriate" careers with "commensurate" pay brackets.
One "mis-step" as a child in secondary school... one moment of fatigue, or of laziness, or missing one's friends, or being born into less-than-affluence - and your destiny is altered forever.
Oh yeah, and climbing up the ladder from a "lower" to "higher" tier is of course in theory possible - but in reality nigh unachievable - because the societal "tiers" also encompass mindsets and stereotypes which are difficult to escape from.
I dunno, but in a country as affluent as ours... with such a low unemployment rate and an efficiency index of just about 21024120, I don't see why a free education for everyone isn't possible. A uniform and default free education, say up to JC, with the option of continuing to uni, or not.
The counter arguments are obvious.
Money, money, and money -- but I think we all know by now just how vast the country's reserves are, and heck, with the advent of government sanctioned
Aren't these the kinds of things reserves are meant to be spent on? Healthcare and education?
The other argument is that not everyone is smart enough to go through JC.
And I think there's some small merit to that argument... but so what? So what if people drop out of a free education, and go on to become unskilled labour? Why do they need to be pegged early-on as potential unskilled labour, and trained into... slightly more skilled labourers?
The questions just keep bubbling up inside me. Why, why and why? And who dreamt up the system?
And the answer, of course is You are Not a Politician, so just stop asking these stupid questions.
(ie, 42.)
*****
Once upon a time, re-minisce's mother forbade his brother from (hypothetically) even dreaming of marrying the Sarabat Stall Owner's daughter.
I believe the idealogy was in keeping with "Love the woman you marry, don't marry the woman you love".
When faced with the usual stoic silence, but with a new and uncharacteristic derisive laughter (and a short voiceclip that in short, spelt out that she was crazy), she turned to re-minisce for moral support.
And was stunned when re-minisce backed-up his brother. (although, at the time re-minisce was madly in love with a woman who not only scored a ridiculous number of A1s at her O levels, but went on to become some very important doctor somewhere out there in the world)
After the stunning-by-proxy wore off, the tongue lashing she delivered was quite spectacular.
Anyway, re-minisce is much older now, and much more world weary.
And you know what?
If he fell in love with the Sarabat Stall Owners daughter...
... he sure as hell would marry her, anyway.
We only have one life to live...
...I want to live mine my way.
