Saturday, July 23, 2005
Rules of Engagement
Okay, I know this is a complete departure from the foam-at-mouth rant-mode I was in previously, but after talking to someone for the longest time tonight and delving into the spiritual aspects of life, love, and relationships it's suddenly become imperative to me (yes, even at three am) to post the wisdom I have garnered through the years about men, women, and love.
Many of these postulates originate from an esteemed colleague of mine. I pray he never discovers this blog, but if he does, well... err someone had to preserve these gems you been coming up with m8. What if you got hit by a bus tomorrow? Or, more importantly, your palm pilot got run over by a wantonly wayward woman in a ferrarri?
Fong's Rule Number One states that attractiveness of a woman is a gaussian distribution with the majority falling, unfortunately, in the average range of attractiveness.
Fong's Rule Number Two states that the percentage chance availability of a woman is inversely proportional to how attractive she is.
An early postule by Re-minisce, based on innate cynicism and personal observations led him to formulate Re-minisce's Initial Postulate, which hypothesized that women are directly attracted to unsavoury men. After several larger and more powerful studies however, Re-minisce realised he was incorrect.
Ergo Re-minisce's Incontrovertible Rule, which decrees that women are pathologically attracted to sleazy scumbuckets.
Fong's Preliminary Postulate states that in an ideal world, under carefully regulated conditions attraction follows a sinusoidal pattern through time. Breakups occur when troughs collide.
This postulate was unfortunately cruelly debunked with the advent of the phenomenon known as The Real World.
Undaunted, the Master Fong rose to the challenge and formulated Fong's Theory of Attraction Number One, which postulates that men and women approach relationships differently. After much thought, Re-minisce believes he has found the elusive factor governing this radical difference in mindset :
Reminisce's Extrapolation of Fong's Theory of Attraction #1
Many of these postulates originate from an esteemed colleague of mine. I pray he never discovers this blog, but if he does, well... err someone had to preserve these gems you been coming up with m8. What if you got hit by a bus tomorrow? Or, more importantly, your palm pilot got run over by a wantonly wayward woman in a ferrarri?
Fong's Rule Number One states that attractiveness of a woman is a gaussian distribution with the majority falling, unfortunately, in the average range of attractiveness.
Fong's Rule Number Two states that the percentage chance availability of a woman is inversely proportional to how attractive she is.
An early postule by Re-minisce, based on innate cynicism and personal observations led him to formulate Re-minisce's Initial Postulate, which hypothesized that women are directly attracted to unsavoury men. After several larger and more powerful studies however, Re-minisce realised he was incorrect.
Ergo Re-minisce's Incontrovertible Rule, which decrees that women are pathologically attracted to sleazy scumbuckets.Fong's Preliminary Postulate states that in an ideal world, under carefully regulated conditions attraction follows a sinusoidal pattern through time. Breakups occur when troughs collide.
This postulate was unfortunately cruelly debunked with the advent of the phenomenon known as The Real World.
Undaunted, the Master Fong rose to the challenge and formulated Fong's Theory of Attraction Number One, which postulates that men and women approach relationships differently. After much thought, Re-minisce believes he has found the elusive factor governing this radical difference in mindset :
Reminisce's Extrapolation of Fong's Theory of Attraction #1
