Monday, April 18, 2005
Pedantic Pedestrian
There seems to be a preoccupation with housing in Singaland.
You hear it on the radio. You hear it in dayspeak. Sometimes you even read it on blogs. Just about everything and everyone is Huuuttt these days.
Oh wait. I think they're trying to say hOt.
I always thought it was pronounced the way it read. With an 'O'. Dear Lord, I've been mispronouncing a three-lettered word for all my sentient (and much of my post-alcoholic hazy) life now...
Why 'Hot' anyhow? It's so absurdedly passe. I mean, who honestly says things are Hot, and Cool when there's slews of other lovely adjectives out there like smashing, brilliant, and even... hmm... bootylicious?
Shrug.
Anyhow in other news, I think the Harvey Norman advertisement has to rate as the worst ever ad this side of the universe.
If ever there was a competition for crappiest advertising nation, Singapore would pip all the other countries it couldn't wrestle the title of Least Press Freedom from to top spot.
I mean, it's like our advert boys don't even bother to try here. They don't have a think tank so much as a regurgitate-ashtray.
I mean, seriously. Think about it.
Five guys sit around a table.
One of them says, "Okay. This is the job." (Or maybe in Singapore, "Dis wat consumer want."
One of them says "Simi dai ji."
One of them says "Ai par" and whips out a knife. Maybe not, maybe. You never really know...
The first one says "We need to do an ad for a washing detergent company."
Long pause.
Silence.
Long pause (remixed)
Finally, one of them looks up, eyes ablaze.
"I know! Zhabor. She pour soy sauce on two shirt! Washes one with brand.... uhh... err... X! And other with client's brand! And client's brand works and brand X cannot make it! And then she can say... err... duuurr... err... "Our brand detergent washes clothes!".
Clapping all around.
I mean, seriously, most of the ads here are so bad I bet even a three year old could come up with them, and probably make them more intelligent, wittier, and choose less aggravating soundtracks too.
Growl.
*****
Anna
He looked into her eyes.
She looked back.
"What??"
"Your eyes."
"...?"
"I always thought they were blue for some reason. They look green now."
"They change with the light. They look green when its dark. They're actually grey."
I didn't know eyes could do that, he thought to himself. How... remarkable.
*****
Treading the Tight(rope) Fantastic
My two pence on the Untouchable's Unspeakable.
Actually, I'm still thinking about it.
I'll write soon. Right now I'm too bogged down with work to be able to find the intellectual reserves to word a piece carefully enough to stop me losing my job.
But I'd like to thank the author for letthatbeenough for writing as eloquently as she did to our national press. For saying what many of us can't, and the rest of us don't have the intestinal fortitude to.
Kudos to you, laughingcow.
To be wanting to be going to bed now.
You hear it on the radio. You hear it in dayspeak. Sometimes you even read it on blogs. Just about everything and everyone is Huuuttt these days.
Oh wait. I think they're trying to say hOt.
I always thought it was pronounced the way it read. With an 'O'. Dear Lord, I've been mispronouncing a three-lettered word for all my sentient (and much of my post-alcoholic hazy) life now...
Why 'Hot' anyhow? It's so absurdedly passe. I mean, who honestly says things are Hot, and Cool when there's slews of other lovely adjectives out there like smashing, brilliant, and even... hmm... bootylicious?
Shrug.
Anyhow in other news, I think the Harvey Norman advertisement has to rate as the worst ever ad this side of the universe.
If ever there was a competition for crappiest advertising nation, Singapore would pip all the other countries it couldn't wrestle the title of Least Press Freedom from to top spot.
I mean, it's like our advert boys don't even bother to try here. They don't have a think tank so much as a regurgitate-ashtray.
I mean, seriously. Think about it.
Five guys sit around a table.
One of them says, "Okay. This is the job." (Or maybe in Singapore, "Dis wat consumer want."
One of them says "Simi dai ji."
One of them says "Ai par" and whips out a knife. Maybe not, maybe. You never really know...
The first one says "We need to do an ad for a washing detergent company."
Long pause.
Silence.
Long pause (remixed)
Finally, one of them looks up, eyes ablaze.
"I know! Zhabor. She pour soy sauce on two shirt! Washes one with brand.... uhh... err... X! And other with client's brand! And client's brand works and brand X cannot make it! And then she can say... err... duuurr... err... "Our brand detergent washes clothes!".
Clapping all around.
I mean, seriously, most of the ads here are so bad I bet even a three year old could come up with them, and probably make them more intelligent, wittier, and choose less aggravating soundtracks too.
Growl.
*****
Anna
He looked into her eyes.
She looked back.
"What??"
"Your eyes."
"...?"
"I always thought they were blue for some reason. They look green now."
"They change with the light. They look green when its dark. They're actually grey."
I didn't know eyes could do that, he thought to himself. How... remarkable.
*****
Treading the Tight(rope) Fantastic
My two pence on the Untouchable's Unspeakable.
Actually, I'm still thinking about it.
I'll write soon. Right now I'm too bogged down with work to be able to find the intellectual reserves to word a piece carefully enough to stop me losing my job.
But I'd like to thank the author for letthatbeenough for writing as eloquently as she did to our national press. For saying what many of us can't, and the rest of us don't have the intestinal fortitude to.
Kudos to you, laughingcow.
To be wanting to be going to bed now.
