Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The Final Countdown
In a few days, final year med students across the country are going to panic en masse and trample each other to death in a mad scramble to flee the motherland.
Okay, maybe not. But it will be the final MBBS.
I'm not one of the kinds of MOs who pretends that he / she doesn't remember what final MBs were like. I remember it vividly, and a touch of the stark horror of being utterly and desperately unprepared still lingers with me today. And that was years ago.
Anybody who pretends it's all lost in the distant past is either raving loony or a complete twit.
Anyway, this is a note of sympathy to you med students across the country :
Don't worry.
You'll be just fine.
I remember what it was like to be told these exact same words by my seniors come finals season. I thought "yeah, yeah, you say that now. But I'm going to be the special one who flunks out, the one exception to the norm undeserving of your confidence." I thought "you don't understand at all, you've forgotten already". And I also thought "****!&&&&!! *!%!@#$(!%!@) I'm so 1@$!*ng A!@%!* unprepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (complete with all them exclamation marks)
So, don't worry kids.
We were all like you once,
and almost all of us passed.
The MBBS is really the last exam you will ever take designed to make you pass. (ah, except for ACLS and ATLS that is)
So just keep a calm head on your shoulders. When your moment of panic arrives, crush it brutally, and remember :
the examiners aren't interested in finding out how much you don't know.
They want to know how much you know... but more importantly, they want to know that you will be sensible, and above all : safe as a doctor.
It's really not that difficult to be sensible and safe. Anybody can do it.
And to those of you who aren't doctors or healthcare professionals reading this : sorry to dispel your illusions. You did not read this. You will go away now. This is a jedi mind trick. The manual guaranteed me it would work. You will send postal orders to...
Okay, maybe not. But it will be the final MBBS.
I'm not one of the kinds of MOs who pretends that he / she doesn't remember what final MBs were like. I remember it vividly, and a touch of the stark horror of being utterly and desperately unprepared still lingers with me today. And that was years ago.
Anybody who pretends it's all lost in the distant past is either raving loony or a complete twit.
Anyway, this is a note of sympathy to you med students across the country :
Don't worry.
You'll be just fine.
I remember what it was like to be told these exact same words by my seniors come finals season. I thought "yeah, yeah, you say that now. But I'm going to be the special one who flunks out, the one exception to the norm undeserving of your confidence." I thought "you don't understand at all, you've forgotten already". And I also thought "****!&&&&!! *!%!@#$(!%!@) I'm so 1@$!*ng A!@%!* unprepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (complete with all them exclamation marks)
So, don't worry kids.
We were all like you once,
and almost all of us passed.
The MBBS is really the last exam you will ever take designed to make you pass. (ah, except for ACLS and ATLS that is)
So just keep a calm head on your shoulders. When your moment of panic arrives, crush it brutally, and remember :
the examiners aren't interested in finding out how much you don't know.
They want to know how much you know... but more importantly, they want to know that you will be sensible, and above all : safe as a doctor.
It's really not that difficult to be sensible and safe. Anybody can do it.
And to those of you who aren't doctors or healthcare professionals reading this : sorry to dispel your illusions. You did not read this. You will go away now. This is a jedi mind trick. The manual guaranteed me it would work. You will send postal orders to...
