Friday, February 04, 2005
A Beautiful Mind
Okay, this post is borne of sheer ennui, indolence (theory : go gym. Reality : blog) and believe it or not, a reader comment about Fiona Xie's sui sui face and big neh nehs...
[what is it with singaporeanisms and repetition. I guess it must be true that all good things come in pairs.
Anyhow. Cough.]
So actually, this post has nothing to do with fiona xie's ostensibly perfect figure or her neh nehs, or even about bonking the ultimate sugar candy (re-minisce wants chocolate...), but rather for the umpteenth time about beauty.
Let's be honest.
If you found a girl (or for that matter, a guy for your girls) godawfully unappealing, we're talking yech factor 10 here... you wouldn't.
Wouldn't bonk, wouldn't snog... probably wouldn't even date (err. well maybe a nicer person than I, would. I wouldn't.)
And certainly wouldn't marry, although rumour has it that the act of marriage alone turns sexy guess models into hideously unsexy mother-in-law types overnight.
But the reverse is also untrue. Us men tend to take about 20 years longer to figure it out than the women; I like to think it's because we're perfectionists and can't handle having our fragile world-views shattered overnight. Gotta keep trying, and trying, and trying again.
The perfect face and body don't necessarily a perfect match make.
Although realistically speaking, most of us would try the snog and bonk routine (or at least try to get there) before realising marriage is simply not going to work because miss perfect she ain't. (eg when bank balance hits zero, or maybe -$1345193120)
I dunno how it works for everyone else, but for this humble soul (who is in real life quite plain, dull and completely unappealing, don't let any of my "friends" convince you otherwise, regardless of what they write in the comments box under this, disclaimer, re-minisce thinks most of his friends should be committed, but is saving them up to refer to psychiatrists for personal favours) it's a pretty complicated thing, involving... who knows. Pheremones? Initial Attraction? (When younger, Love at First Sight. Considering it has only happened once till now, I'll settle for initial attraction) Pretty face and body that appeals? (duh. Let's be honest here, and debunk the nice-nice Singaporean myths... You women do it too, and us men do it first.)
And also personality.
I'm guessing personality is the crux upon which it all really hinges, because one day miss galaxy-cosmos-universe-spacetime-continuum is going to be old, just like your mommy or your mommy in law. And subconsciously all of us men (except the rich old fogies, damn them) realise that all the beauty in the world isn't going to weather time perfectly (except for Claudia Schiffer, mmm.) and if she can't make you laugh, can't engage you... in a certain way (differs for all of us, for some men oral interaction has a very different meaning to others...) then she's a non-starter.
It's just a wild guess, really.
But the final piece of the puzzle, that final brush stroke - as precious as a sunset falling over the horizon, and as overlooked as a pin falling in a room full of beer guzzling clubbers - is something extra; something that you just know when someone looks a certain way, or her brows knit a particular way, or she turns / cocks her head at a certain angle, or says something at a certain pitch... and not just something, but something specific - albeit unpredictable. That's when you know.
It's a whole chain of circumstances which can't be defined... but all have one thing in common.
The little woman holding the reigns, in the driving seat somewhere up there in her cranium. The stick-figure that wears the mask of physical appeal, the puppeteer that pulls the strinks to make the frame do whatever it is that appeals to you.
That undefinable something which makes sometimes-intelligent guys say or think stupid lies (usually to themselves) like "if she was ugly, I would still date her" (although truth be told, if she was ugly we certainly wouldn't, see above).
Yeah, that's what makes someone really "beautiful" to someone else.
It's more than skin-deep.
Sometimes you see it from the second you meet them, and they just keep on being beautiful.
Sometimes it takes a while, and then the circumstances fall together and you can't stop noticing it afterwards.
It's all in the eye of the beholder.
[what is it with singaporeanisms and repetition. I guess it must be true that all good things come in pairs.
Anyhow. Cough.]
So actually, this post has nothing to do with fiona xie's ostensibly perfect figure or her neh nehs, or even about bonking the ultimate sugar candy (re-minisce wants chocolate...), but rather for the umpteenth time about beauty.
Let's be honest.
If you found a girl (or for that matter, a guy for your girls) godawfully unappealing, we're talking yech factor 10 here... you wouldn't.
Wouldn't bonk, wouldn't snog... probably wouldn't even date (err. well maybe a nicer person than I, would. I wouldn't.)
And certainly wouldn't marry, although rumour has it that the act of marriage alone turns sexy guess models into hideously unsexy mother-in-law types overnight.
But the reverse is also untrue. Us men tend to take about 20 years longer to figure it out than the women; I like to think it's because we're perfectionists and can't handle having our fragile world-views shattered overnight. Gotta keep trying, and trying, and trying again.
The perfect face and body don't necessarily a perfect match make.
Although realistically speaking, most of us would try the snog and bonk routine (or at least try to get there) before realising marriage is simply not going to work because miss perfect she ain't. (eg when bank balance hits zero, or maybe -$1345193120)
I dunno how it works for everyone else, but for this humble soul (who is in real life quite plain, dull and completely unappealing, don't let any of my "friends" convince you otherwise, regardless of what they write in the comments box under this, disclaimer, re-minisce thinks most of his friends should be committed, but is saving them up to refer to psychiatrists for personal favours) it's a pretty complicated thing, involving... who knows. Pheremones? Initial Attraction? (When younger, Love at First Sight. Considering it has only happened once till now, I'll settle for initial attraction) Pretty face and body that appeals? (duh. Let's be honest here, and debunk the nice-nice Singaporean myths... You women do it too, and us men do it first.)
And also personality.
I'm guessing personality is the crux upon which it all really hinges, because one day miss galaxy-cosmos-universe-spacetime-continuum is going to be old, just like your mommy or your mommy in law. And subconsciously all of us men (except the rich old fogies, damn them) realise that all the beauty in the world isn't going to weather time perfectly (except for Claudia Schiffer, mmm.) and if she can't make you laugh, can't engage you... in a certain way (differs for all of us, for some men oral interaction has a very different meaning to others...) then she's a non-starter.
It's just a wild guess, really.
But the final piece of the puzzle, that final brush stroke - as precious as a sunset falling over the horizon, and as overlooked as a pin falling in a room full of beer guzzling clubbers - is something extra; something that you just know when someone looks a certain way, or her brows knit a particular way, or she turns / cocks her head at a certain angle, or says something at a certain pitch... and not just something, but something specific - albeit unpredictable. That's when you know.
It's a whole chain of circumstances which can't be defined... but all have one thing in common.
The little woman holding the reigns, in the driving seat somewhere up there in her cranium. The stick-figure that wears the mask of physical appeal, the puppeteer that pulls the strinks to make the frame do whatever it is that appeals to you.
That undefinable something which makes sometimes-intelligent guys say or think stupid lies (usually to themselves) like "if she was ugly, I would still date her" (although truth be told, if she was ugly we certainly wouldn't, see above).
Yeah, that's what makes someone really "beautiful" to someone else.
It's more than skin-deep.
Sometimes you see it from the second you meet them, and they just keep on being beautiful.
Sometimes it takes a while, and then the circumstances fall together and you can't stop noticing it afterwards.
It's all in the eye of the beholder.
