Friday, August 20, 2004
Insomnity
It's 5.35 am and I'm sitting here watching the sun rise outside my window.
I didn't catch the sunrise on the Thames after Dido after all, since it decided to piss down and stay grey and cloudy till 1900 yesterday.
Today it's turning into the perfect dawn, and I'm sitting here in my bedroom watching it happen and wondering what I'm doing in here as opposed to out there. But this isn't the way I want it to happen. I want to sit on the Thames in the still of the night and watch it fade to light. I want to catch the way the water turns from black to brown, and the way the thames comes awake. I want to see what kind of strange people walk down the thames at 5 in the morning. (hmm. probably muggers.)
So it shan't be today then, since it's already too late. Tomorrow, it shall be.
I'm turning into a regular insomniac, aren't I?
There's a hundred different tomorrows in my head, and a hundred different yesterdays - right now - and I just want to fall through the floor into eternity. I haven't got a clue what that means, but I yearn so hard my limbs hurt. Maybe it's time for my medication again... heh.
Do any of you believe in alternate realities, and divergent futures? Who knows what might have happened - or is going to happen to me, in one of those other lifetimes. To me. It's a strange thought. I watch meme people around me everyday, and envy them just a little. What is it like, one wonders - how safe it must be! to see only your world, and consider only your priorities. How easy life must be to just cruise on by, and make yourself happy.
It's going to be such a beautiful day.
I didn't catch the sunrise on the Thames after Dido after all, since it decided to piss down and stay grey and cloudy till 1900 yesterday.
Today it's turning into the perfect dawn, and I'm sitting here in my bedroom watching it happen and wondering what I'm doing in here as opposed to out there. But this isn't the way I want it to happen. I want to sit on the Thames in the still of the night and watch it fade to light. I want to catch the way the water turns from black to brown, and the way the thames comes awake. I want to see what kind of strange people walk down the thames at 5 in the morning. (hmm. probably muggers.)
So it shan't be today then, since it's already too late. Tomorrow, it shall be.
I'm turning into a regular insomniac, aren't I?
There's a hundred different tomorrows in my head, and a hundred different yesterdays - right now - and I just want to fall through the floor into eternity. I haven't got a clue what that means, but I yearn so hard my limbs hurt. Maybe it's time for my medication again... heh.
Do any of you believe in alternate realities, and divergent futures? Who knows what might have happened - or is going to happen to me, in one of those other lifetimes. To me. It's a strange thought. I watch meme people around me everyday, and envy them just a little. What is it like, one wonders - how safe it must be! to see only your world, and consider only your priorities. How easy life must be to just cruise on by, and make yourself happy.
It's going to be such a beautiful day.
