Truths of Old

I've just had a very odd cathartic moment while doing the ironing.

Ironing, incidentally, is the bane of my life. If there's one housechore I hate more than washing up, it's ironing. Sure, it can be therapeutic when done in front of a telly.

I don't have a telly.
'nuff said.

Anyhow, for some reason, the reason for my existence just hit me hard in the face.

I know why :

Why Her. Why She stood out like a beacon of light amongst all the others around her... and not simply because of her height.

Why Here - why, despite hating the weather, and the pessimistic greyness of London, I prefer Here to "Home".

Why Healthcare. The Real reason why I chose to shoulder the cross of "healthcare provider". Sure, I wonder from time to time what it would be like to be someone else... a model? a... callgirl (heh)... an EMT... a paramed. And I suspect I will write something on lingualnerve.com about this soon to explore this a little further... but for now, I just know Why.

Why They (the minor incarnations of Her that I sorta fell for... but couldn't quite stay in love with)

Why Not her

Why, even Evanescence.

And What : I am running from.

It has to do with humanity.
I'm addicted to humanity.
*****

Call my name and save me from the dark
bid my blood to run
before I come undone
save me from the nothing I've become

- Evanescence, Bring me to Life