Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Honesty, the best policy?
I've been watching DW spiral slowly into the depths of self-loathing and depression for quite a while now. To be absolutely honest, he's been floundering ever since I first set eyes on his blog - quite a while ago.
I watched with bemusement the rather insincere comments people were leaving on his site to try to cheer him up. People are like that, when someone else is hurting. They dispense empty praise - you're wonderful! smile! you're the next best thing since sliced bread! - without sincerity. And without thought of the repercussions. They do it - to make themselves feel good. About themselves.
I watched till I could no longer hold my peace. DW is better than this. He doesn't deserve to spiral endlessly, and then be buoyed transiently to the heights of ecstacy on the crest of the waves of insincere, and quite possibly inaccurate a** licking. DW deserves better - to have a true turnaround. A change in his perception of himself, and his body image. A shot at real happiness.
And so I tried a different tack : honesty. I tried, and failed, with my feeble level-1 Jedi Knight mind-trick...
His latest post (June 01, 2004) quotes me, as it were (sigh isn't this always the case?), out of context:
"...your writing is merely passable. There is no subtlety or refinement in form, the words blend together rather blandly into statements, which convey the writer's thoughts adequately. There is no complexity of sentence structure, no measure, no lyricism. It is not a beautiful writing style. I would hesitate to call your writing 'beautiful'"
He then goes on to plunge further into the depths of bitter self-revulsion. No surprise there.
already, the repercussions from his well-wishing "supporters" (another reason not to keep rabid fans, lacey female underwear fetish notwithstanding) are trickling through :
"awwww.. come on, why let this person bring u down.. i mean i went to his blog and it just another ordinary blog. i dun think his english is that fantastic either. who's he to judge on u eh. i mean 'to each is own'. u have yr own style and personality, dun let just because of one comment put u off eh. time to move on buddy, believe in yrself.
Posted by sicko at June 1, 2004 08:19 PM"
Deep, slow breaths. People are like that, quick to condemn, eager to revel in their own feel-good moments as martyr and saviour. Look at me, I'm the level-headed man handing out the good advice, I'm da man. Re-minisce? He ain't got jacksh*t man.
All it would have taken to discover the truth : a few mouse clicks. A quick scroll down the page to the original comment. Simple sleuthing, 101. But no - too much effort. So much easier to condemn, and to slag-off. "His english isn't that fantastic either!" Well, re-minisce never claimed mastery over the written form. Re-minisce never even thought his writing was that special... and pegged (most of) the well-wishing comments he received as yet more empty and insincere words. Re-minisce does claim this distinction -- the ability to recognise "good" writing when he sees it.
And as he (I) wrote -- DW is a good writer - not for his boundless gift of words, but rather for the wealth of thoughts, and the simple honesty he presents to us.
Here are the words DW left unquoted. The words that closer approximate the truth, that DW simply will not hear. These are the thoughts that DW shies away from - because, I suspect, part of him wants to hurt:
"I will be bluntly honest. and quite possibly earn the enmity of many of your more rabid fans. (looks pointedly at areya)
your writing is merely passable. There is no subtlety or refinement in form, the words blend together rather blandly into statements, which convey the writer's thoughts adequately. There is no complexity of sentence structure, no measure, no lyricism. It is not a beautiful writing style. I would hesitate to call your writing "beautiful".
and yet, I list you as a "head injury" on my blog -- not because you are Gods gift to written English, but because you are very good at what you do :
the thoughts behind your words count for more than the words you actually choose. There are different types of writers, and different writing styles. Yours is a style more dependent on concepts than words. The concepts are what draw people to your short-stories. Everyday, mundane things that they can relate to -- not the meticulous detail with which some people describe shimmering teardrops floating dreamlike down to their eventual obliteration on the hard cold tiles of reality below - but the simple, everyday motivations that live in all of us. to love, to cheat, to hurt.
simple, everyday - honest words.
something to be proud of.
Posted by re-minisce. at May 30, 2004 11:41 PM "
I know better than to expect an apology from "sicko" now. I know the type. Loud words. Big sticks. Too big for apologies. Anything more - a retraction? An about-face (oh, your writing is actually really good!) -re-minisce would take for insincerity anyhow. Two insincerities do not make a right.
I am bigger than this. I am better than this. And so too, DW, are you.
was I being too honest? I don't believe there is such a thing. Perhaps I was too blunt. Perhaps I could have been more tactful. Sigh. My bad.
DW - your writing will never earn you the Carnegie medal - but neither will mine. (And look at all the claptrap that gets published - Bonnie Hicks : Excuse Me, are you a Model?)
If you want your writing to be beautiful - then you have only to set yourself to the task of learning how. If you don't actually get around to bumping yourself off, then I figure you've got plenty of time and certainly enough talent to learn how.
But don't, for the love of God, give up writing because of something you quoted me as saying. Or for something someone else says to you further down the line.
Don't use my words as your excuse - the truth is that your problems stem from within, and not without.
I will not, although I am tempted to, write : leave me out of this. I am no stranger to criticism myself. I dared to oppose the great Xiaxue. laughs. Now those were rabid fans.
(Sure, it chafes having people hate me. Shrug. Big deal. Life and death are far more important to me. Tomorrow I'll probably be writing about some horrific trauma that came through the doors tonight.)
If you stop writing, do it because you recognise that you have lost your internal struggle with your inner demons. And know this - that re-minisce will be saddened by it.
I watched with bemusement the rather insincere comments people were leaving on his site to try to cheer him up. People are like that, when someone else is hurting. They dispense empty praise - you're wonderful! smile! you're the next best thing since sliced bread! - without sincerity. And without thought of the repercussions. They do it - to make themselves feel good. About themselves.
I watched till I could no longer hold my peace. DW is better than this. He doesn't deserve to spiral endlessly, and then be buoyed transiently to the heights of ecstacy on the crest of the waves of insincere, and quite possibly inaccurate a** licking. DW deserves better - to have a true turnaround. A change in his perception of himself, and his body image. A shot at real happiness.
And so I tried a different tack : honesty. I tried, and failed, with my feeble level-1 Jedi Knight mind-trick...
His latest post (June 01, 2004) quotes me, as it were (sigh isn't this always the case?), out of context:
"...your writing is merely passable. There is no subtlety or refinement in form, the words blend together rather blandly into statements, which convey the writer's thoughts adequately. There is no complexity of sentence structure, no measure, no lyricism. It is not a beautiful writing style. I would hesitate to call your writing 'beautiful'"
He then goes on to plunge further into the depths of bitter self-revulsion. No surprise there.
already, the repercussions from his well-wishing "supporters" (another reason not to keep rabid fans, lacey female underwear fetish notwithstanding) are trickling through :
"awwww.. come on, why let this person bring u down.. i mean i went to his blog and it just another ordinary blog. i dun think his english is that fantastic either. who's he to judge on u eh. i mean 'to each is own'. u have yr own style and personality, dun let just because of one comment put u off eh. time to move on buddy, believe in yrself.
Posted by sicko at June 1, 2004 08:19 PM"
Deep, slow breaths. People are like that, quick to condemn, eager to revel in their own feel-good moments as martyr and saviour. Look at me, I'm the level-headed man handing out the good advice, I'm da man. Re-minisce? He ain't got jacksh*t man.
All it would have taken to discover the truth : a few mouse clicks. A quick scroll down the page to the original comment. Simple sleuthing, 101. But no - too much effort. So much easier to condemn, and to slag-off. "His english isn't that fantastic either!" Well, re-minisce never claimed mastery over the written form. Re-minisce never even thought his writing was that special... and pegged (most of) the well-wishing comments he received as yet more empty and insincere words. Re-minisce does claim this distinction -- the ability to recognise "good" writing when he sees it.
And as he (I) wrote -- DW is a good writer - not for his boundless gift of words, but rather for the wealth of thoughts, and the simple honesty he presents to us.
Here are the words DW left unquoted. The words that closer approximate the truth, that DW simply will not hear. These are the thoughts that DW shies away from - because, I suspect, part of him wants to hurt:
"I will be bluntly honest. and quite possibly earn the enmity of many of your more rabid fans. (looks pointedly at areya)
your writing is merely passable. There is no subtlety or refinement in form, the words blend together rather blandly into statements, which convey the writer's thoughts adequately. There is no complexity of sentence structure, no measure, no lyricism. It is not a beautiful writing style. I would hesitate to call your writing "beautiful".
and yet, I list you as a "head injury" on my blog -- not because you are Gods gift to written English, but because you are very good at what you do :
the thoughts behind your words count for more than the words you actually choose. There are different types of writers, and different writing styles. Yours is a style more dependent on concepts than words. The concepts are what draw people to your short-stories. Everyday, mundane things that they can relate to -- not the meticulous detail with which some people describe shimmering teardrops floating dreamlike down to their eventual obliteration on the hard cold tiles of reality below - but the simple, everyday motivations that live in all of us. to love, to cheat, to hurt.
simple, everyday - honest words.
something to be proud of.
Posted by re-minisce. at May 30, 2004 11:41 PM "
I know better than to expect an apology from "sicko" now. I know the type. Loud words. Big sticks. Too big for apologies. Anything more - a retraction? An about-face (oh, your writing is actually really good!) -re-minisce would take for insincerity anyhow. Two insincerities do not make a right.
I am bigger than this. I am better than this. And so too, DW, are you.
was I being too honest? I don't believe there is such a thing. Perhaps I was too blunt. Perhaps I could have been more tactful. Sigh. My bad.
DW - your writing will never earn you the Carnegie medal - but neither will mine. (And look at all the claptrap that gets published - Bonnie Hicks : Excuse Me, are you a Model?)
If you want your writing to be beautiful - then you have only to set yourself to the task of learning how. If you don't actually get around to bumping yourself off, then I figure you've got plenty of time and certainly enough talent to learn how.
But don't, for the love of God, give up writing because of something you quoted me as saying. Or for something someone else says to you further down the line.
Don't use my words as your excuse - the truth is that your problems stem from within, and not without.
I will not, although I am tempted to, write : leave me out of this. I am no stranger to criticism myself. I dared to oppose the great Xiaxue. laughs. Now those were rabid fans.
(Sure, it chafes having people hate me. Shrug. Big deal. Life and death are far more important to me. Tomorrow I'll probably be writing about some horrific trauma that came through the doors tonight.)
If you stop writing, do it because you recognise that you have lost your internal struggle with your inner demons. And know this - that re-minisce will be saddened by it.
