Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Egalite
Hmm. Reading second hand this subtly-worded example of government propaganda (yet more in the Go Forth and Multiply! series penned by the Powers that Be) I'm prompted to reply in turn. Cough. Originality, zero.
"There are advantages to being matchmade by friends:
CREDIBILITY: You might meet knife-wielding psychos on your own. But you can probably trust that a friend of your friend won't be that scary.
Uh. Add to that pressurised-canister wielding leather-clad females. With torture-implement fashion accessories. And probable pointy hats.
When I'm on a roll, I'm really on a roll. (rolls over and plays dead)
Of course, seeing as how many of my friends are/were engineers... yeah. friends of friends can't possibly be scary. I mean, how scary could the laws of thermodynamics possibly be?
pause.
QUALITY CONTROL: Your friend will probably know what attributes you want in a mate, and try to hook you up with someone who fits the profile.
Another pause.
This Karl Ho guy... he doesn't actually have any friends, does he?
Friends don't matchmake you to people they think you will like. They matchmake you to people they like, only, only they're married with ten children already so this is their chance to live vicariously through you.
Either that or if you've got a predefined "type" of "like", then friends take it as their duty to pull you down a peg or two, tell you you've got your head in the clouds, then introduce you to the polar opposite of what you state as your ideal woman.
See? I know all about friends. glare.
NON-SDU SETTINGS: If a friend is smart, he can organise a group outing and sneak in the introductions without even letting on that a match is being made.
Heh. Hello, this is XYZ, a complete stranger whom you've never met before who happens to be of the opposite sex, she just fell from the clear blue sky today as I was wondering who else to ask to dinner, which is why she's here and fitting so perfectly into our cosy little circle of blokes. yep.
Or : Hello, this is X, this is Y, and this is Z. We don't none of us know each other, but isn't this fun now! Whee!
Burning sulphur? what burning sulphur. all in your imagination.
But there are drawbacks too.
ANTI-CLIMAX: When it's a close friend offering you a stab at happiness, it'll be a more crushing blow when the blind date doesn't work out. This buddy might also be in a bind if only one side shows interest
why? then he's free to sha... oops. Y chromosome. Heeeyy it's alive! Hallelujah!
Cmon, let's get real. This karl ho guy is obviously gay. Males don't really WANT for things to work out. They just want to come quickly. And then leave quickly.
All this touchy feely snuggly all-eternity stuff is for the women. binding? the only type of binding men like is...
gnnh. gnnh. gmf.
SCAPEGOAT: If a successful match falls apart, your first instinct will probably be to blame the cause of it all: your friend. Social circles might just fall apart because of failed matches.
Actually, a common enemy is a pretty good binder. IMO. Maybe that would be a good thing, getting both parties on the same side. Another spark lighting a remade match. And possibly the timely demise of yet another matchmaking kaypoh who can't keep his nose out of other people's business. Score one for the good guys.
As far as I'm concerned, Karl can keep his singleness, desperation and ugliness to hisself. He oughta take a trip over to the UK sometime. All it takes is a night out at a club for something to "happen". (Sometimes even more than once...) If he's into oriental birds, then Thai Square is the place for him. Just hope he uses protection.
And he can take his "matches" and stuff em up where the sun don't shine, too.
Here in the civilised world, we use lighter fluid... heh. heh. heh.
whooof!
"There are advantages to being matchmade by friends:
CREDIBILITY: You might meet knife-wielding psychos on your own. But you can probably trust that a friend of your friend won't be that scary.
Uh. Add to that pressurised-canister wielding leather-clad females. With torture-implement fashion accessories. And probable pointy hats.
When I'm on a roll, I'm really on a roll. (rolls over and plays dead)
Of course, seeing as how many of my friends are/were engineers... yeah. friends of friends can't possibly be scary. I mean, how scary could the laws of thermodynamics possibly be?
pause.
QUALITY CONTROL: Your friend will probably know what attributes you want in a mate, and try to hook you up with someone who fits the profile.
Another pause.
This Karl Ho guy... he doesn't actually have any friends, does he?
Friends don't matchmake you to people they think you will like. They matchmake you to people they like, only, only they're married with ten children already so this is their chance to live vicariously through you.
Either that or if you've got a predefined "type" of "like", then friends take it as their duty to pull you down a peg or two, tell you you've got your head in the clouds, then introduce you to the polar opposite of what you state as your ideal woman.
See? I know all about friends. glare.
NON-SDU SETTINGS: If a friend is smart, he can organise a group outing and sneak in the introductions without even letting on that a match is being made.
Heh. Hello, this is XYZ, a complete stranger whom you've never met before who happens to be of the opposite sex, she just fell from the clear blue sky today as I was wondering who else to ask to dinner, which is why she's here and fitting so perfectly into our cosy little circle of blokes. yep.
Or : Hello, this is X, this is Y, and this is Z. We don't none of us know each other, but isn't this fun now! Whee!
Burning sulphur? what burning sulphur. all in your imagination.
But there are drawbacks too.
ANTI-CLIMAX: When it's a close friend offering you a stab at happiness, it'll be a more crushing blow when the blind date doesn't work out. This buddy might also be in a bind if only one side shows interest
why? then he's free to sha... oops. Y chromosome. Heeeyy it's alive! Hallelujah!
Cmon, let's get real. This karl ho guy is obviously gay. Males don't really WANT for things to work out. They just want to come quickly. And then leave quickly.
All this touchy feely snuggly all-eternity stuff is for the women. binding? the only type of binding men like is...
gnnh. gnnh. gmf.
SCAPEGOAT: If a successful match falls apart, your first instinct will probably be to blame the cause of it all: your friend. Social circles might just fall apart because of failed matches.
Actually, a common enemy is a pretty good binder. IMO. Maybe that would be a good thing, getting both parties on the same side. Another spark lighting a remade match. And possibly the timely demise of yet another matchmaking kaypoh who can't keep his nose out of other people's business. Score one for the good guys.
As far as I'm concerned, Karl can keep his singleness, desperation and ugliness to hisself. He oughta take a trip over to the UK sometime. All it takes is a night out at a club for something to "happen". (Sometimes even more than once...) If he's into oriental birds, then Thai Square is the place for him. Just hope he uses protection.
And he can take his "matches" and stuff em up where the sun don't shine, too.
Here in the civilised world, we use lighter fluid... heh. heh. heh.
whooof!
