Sunday, April 18, 2004
Avoidance Behaviour
I am currently steadfastedly engaged in ignoring the ATLS manual before me. For a while, anyhow. Das ist nicht richtig. The course starts wednesday. Where's that cold chill of fear creeping down my spine when I need it most?
So I'm feeling quite happy that I've brought some order to my chaotic hard-drive, and managed to tweak my... rather less than legally obtained version of (unspecified title involving beautiful woman, little short men with big feet and big man with a long staff. GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER OR SO HELP ME...) game into submission. Multiple corrupt downloads pieced together intelligently = 1 working whole, yay me. Holistic Piracy 101.
That and erm metabolising the remnants of last nights experience in substance abuse. And remembering The Butterfly Effect, which was apparently also part of the experience from yesterday. I think.
I won't spoil it (much) for any of you (but don't read on if it offends you), except to say that it raises many questions. (Including how Incompetent Can a Normal Human Male Possibly Be at Changing His Past. Oh wait he had CT evidence of several subdural bleeds so that explains a lot)
Post-screening post-mortem with friend as we walked to Alloro for dinner (beautiful sunset, balmy breeze, yadda yadda) :
She : "But I don't understand why he did that."
He : "Because he loved her."
She : "But love is very much for yourself. It's selfish."
He : pause. "I think it takes a certain kind of person to think that way."
Unspoken words.
Would you choose to erase someone you truly loved from your present, future ... and (yourself from) her past, if it was the only way to keep her safe from harm?
in the words of another :
Have you ever loved someone so much that you let go of him/her for his/her happiness? True love, or something akin to it, is ultimately about self-sacrifice, and not self-fulfillment
*****
And that chance brushing of shoulders at the end. Not quite as implausible as some would think.
Several years Post Holocaust. His classmate organised the whole elective after their grand scheme to trek to South America, get kidnapped, and be rescued by Russel Crowe went tits up. She wasn't in on the Story.
So many different hospitals in a large city. So many places to be at any one time in a large hospital. What chance...
...he runs past her on Day 1 en-route to reception.
Do you believe in destiny?
Or perhaps in extraneous forces, subtly nudging humanity along, like wavelets gently but insistently guiding a leaf towards the shore. Except us leaves have feet.
I am currently steadfastedly engaged in ignoring the ATLS manual before me. For a while, anyhow. Das ist nicht richtig. The course starts wednesday. Where's that cold chill of fear creeping down my spine when I need it most?
So I'm feeling quite happy that I've brought some order to my chaotic hard-drive, and managed to tweak my... rather less than legally obtained version of (unspecified title involving beautiful woman, little short men with big feet and big man with a long staff. GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER OR SO HELP ME...) game into submission. Multiple corrupt downloads pieced together intelligently = 1 working whole, yay me. Holistic Piracy 101.
That and erm metabolising the remnants of last nights experience in substance abuse. And remembering The Butterfly Effect, which was apparently also part of the experience from yesterday. I think.
I won't spoil it (much) for any of you (but don't read on if it offends you), except to say that it raises many questions. (Including how Incompetent Can a Normal Human Male Possibly Be at Changing His Past. Oh wait he had CT evidence of several subdural bleeds so that explains a lot)
Post-screening post-mortem with friend as we walked to Alloro for dinner (beautiful sunset, balmy breeze, yadda yadda) :
She : "But I don't understand why he did that."
He : "Because he loved her."
She : "But love is very much for yourself. It's selfish."
He : pause. "I think it takes a certain kind of person to think that way."
Unspoken words.
Would you choose to erase someone you truly loved from your present, future ... and (yourself from) her past, if it was the only way to keep her safe from harm?
in the words of another :
Have you ever loved someone so much that you let go of him/her for his/her happiness? True love, or something akin to it, is ultimately about self-sacrifice, and not self-fulfillment
*****
And that chance brushing of shoulders at the end. Not quite as implausible as some would think.
Several years Post Holocaust. His classmate organised the whole elective after their grand scheme to trek to South America, get kidnapped, and be rescued by Russel Crowe went tits up. She wasn't in on the Story.
So many different hospitals in a large city. So many places to be at any one time in a large hospital. What chance...
...he runs past her on Day 1 en-route to reception.
Do you believe in destiny?
Or perhaps in extraneous forces, subtly nudging humanity along, like wavelets gently but insistently guiding a leaf towards the shore. Except us leaves have feet.
