Tuesday, February 25, 2003
A short snippet about someone I knew once, an older, kinder person than myself. Attractive, in a fresh-faced, vibrant kind of way. More, to be honest, a pixie than an elf, after all pixies are pretty aren't they? Elves are... gangly and strange. Met her with the intention of hooking her up with my elder sibling, and was accidentally charmed. Probably pheremones... do those travel over telephones? Eventually I came crashing back to reality though. People like that are special; you don't waste their time. Everyone, I believe, has a certain someone out there meant for them. Yes, I truly believe that, and some of us have lost them, some of us have found them. The females, unfortunately, have a finite time in this cruel world to find them, and when the headiness of initial romance wears off, well... I just wanted her to be happy, in a proper way, that perhaps someday I too will share.
Okay, got that off my chest now.
And back to our regularly scheduled programme. Watched 2 weeks notice the other day - yes, I know real life isn't at all like reel life, not even vaguely representative - and a sentence stuck. "I've got your voice in my head, and I don't think I want to forget it". Yes, yes I know, all of us extract choice sentences from movies to identify with, that's why there're so many gems in there if you're paying attention; the bit where Sandra Bullock mourns a missing boyfriend who is never there for her - so many girls, I imagine, can identify with that, both physically and metaphorically - but that single sentence stuck with me. Because for me, it's true. I've got your voice in my head. And try as I might, I couldn't forget it. And 7 years later, I know that I don't want to forget it. It would make me less of who I am now.
And somewhere in here, I feel awful. Wondering how on earth I ended up where I am now, and how it's taken me so long to realise that I'd rather be with nobody at all - be entirely free, and happy than be with somebody other than You. The latter would be a much more pleasant prospect. But the former would also be equally pleasant, and far less stressful and guilt-ridden than what I endure at present day.
Oh yeah. More K****-itis. Met your cousin the other day. Isn't that weird? a few thousand Singaporeans here, and I ran into her. :\
This is Bubu, calling out to Yogi, over.
Okay, got that off my chest now.
And back to our regularly scheduled programme. Watched 2 weeks notice the other day - yes, I know real life isn't at all like reel life, not even vaguely representative - and a sentence stuck. "I've got your voice in my head, and I don't think I want to forget it". Yes, yes I know, all of us extract choice sentences from movies to identify with, that's why there're so many gems in there if you're paying attention; the bit where Sandra Bullock mourns a missing boyfriend who is never there for her - so many girls, I imagine, can identify with that, both physically and metaphorically - but that single sentence stuck with me. Because for me, it's true. I've got your voice in my head. And try as I might, I couldn't forget it. And 7 years later, I know that I don't want to forget it. It would make me less of who I am now.
And somewhere in here, I feel awful. Wondering how on earth I ended up where I am now, and how it's taken me so long to realise that I'd rather be with nobody at all - be entirely free, and happy than be with somebody other than You. The latter would be a much more pleasant prospect. But the former would also be equally pleasant, and far less stressful and guilt-ridden than what I endure at present day.
Oh yeah. More K****-itis. Met your cousin the other day. Isn't that weird? a few thousand Singaporeans here, and I ran into her. :\
This is Bubu, calling out to Yogi, over.
