Saturday, June 12, 2004
Razing Arizona
Oh. So this is what sunburn feels like. I'd completely forgotten...
Today was spent sweating profusely, making contact with the ground repeatedly, and savouring the sensation of Real Sun on skin. (10 points for whoever guessed blading. -200590 for anyone who thought anything vaguely dodgy)
So now, staring at my slightly battle-scarred hands and feeling the residual stored sunshine (four hours of sleep later) radiating off my (properly red. and not just imagined either!) face, I'm recalling the prehistoric days of old, when our most intimate friends were the big guns in our hands (cough.) and our skins fragile, sunbaked shells encompassing all the juicy goodness within just waiting to dehydrate out into the world beyond.
In a strange way, it's kinda cool (must be fever. drink water.) My mom, naturally, freaked out and declared that I'd irreparably destroyed my skin, it would never be the same again! (wave hands agitatedly)
Random fact : Mum did indeed want a daughter as a second child. But, but. but. Re-minisce is quick to add that she coped with her initial disappointment well and never did the dress him up in pink dresses with parasols thing. And the only reason he learnt the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was from surreptitiously watching TV when the parents weren't looking. Honest.
*****
Fast as fast can be
The axe fell this morning. "What are you doing tomorrow night?" Wow. Does she never tire of this ritual? I'm tempted to say "meeting up with my gay friend" just to see if she's listening, but I dutifully say instead, as I always do, "Nothing." Pause. Wait.
"Okay we'll do a (cheerily) Family Dinner!!" Waah. Cool. Everyone sitting around in silence chewing their cud. Re-minisce nervously space-filling the silences with questions, which will eventually result in mom snapping at him "Stop bugging your dad!"
I can hardly wait.
Although if the Vet is really there, maybe I should just fly back now. Somebody kill me. They wouldn't. Would they? Argh!
Mum : "She's fair, slender, tall and pretty!"
Me : "Then why is her mom trying to hook her up with random blokes?"
Sod it, even if she were all of the above (fair. -200 immediately) which would be exceeeeedingly unlikely since mom's idea of pretty is. well. outmoded, shall we say. It'd still be a bad thing. hyperventilate. I can hear the wedding bells already. Help. Must escape. Need horse... No. Not for that! Grr. Run. Away.
*****
Other
What gives? Everytime I so much as touch food I feel all queasy?? I can't finish my meals?!? What's going on here. This is not normal. And just great, I'm feeling hungry again now.
*****
Gaydar
Argh. Apparently my err. relative. cough. rates 90% on the gay scale. Learning why, from an expert in the field has been an eye-opener.
designer underwear : +10%
able to bench-press everything : +10%
I am SO traumatised now. Suddenly, everyone and every body around me is taking on a different light. And is it just me, or are the men in singapore suddenly a whole lot... friendlier to each other... than when I remember them last?? It's only been 3 months dammit!!!
I'm told now that there's something different about the cheekbones. And the lips are a little bit poutier as well... why, we wonder... (discreet!) cough.
Argh! I remember the good-old days when it was as simple as an ear-ring. Left is right, and right is wrong. There. Sorted.
Then the water-bottle and towel variant. Can't miss that.
Uh. I wonder if leg-pressing 270 kg counts. Maybe I should shelve those plans of hitting the gym over the last few days of my holidays back in London... and er. what does songwriting on the piano do to the balance?? But but but but. what if there's no lyrics. yeah. just tunes. That's okay right? Right????
my eyes, my poor eyes. I want them closed again. whimper.
*****
Today was spent sweating profusely, making contact with the ground repeatedly, and savouring the sensation of Real Sun on skin. (10 points for whoever guessed blading. -200590 for anyone who thought anything vaguely dodgy)
So now, staring at my slightly battle-scarred hands and feeling the residual stored sunshine (four hours of sleep later) radiating off my (properly red. and not just imagined either!) face, I'm recalling the prehistoric days of old, when our most intimate friends were the big guns in our hands (cough.) and our skins fragile, sunbaked shells encompassing all the juicy goodness within just waiting to dehydrate out into the world beyond.
In a strange way, it's kinda cool (must be fever. drink water.) My mom, naturally, freaked out and declared that I'd irreparably destroyed my skin, it would never be the same again! (wave hands agitatedly)
Random fact : Mum did indeed want a daughter as a second child. But, but. but. Re-minisce is quick to add that she coped with her initial disappointment well and never did the dress him up in pink dresses with parasols thing. And the only reason he learnt the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was from surreptitiously watching TV when the parents weren't looking. Honest.
*****
Fast as fast can be
The axe fell this morning. "What are you doing tomorrow night?" Wow. Does she never tire of this ritual? I'm tempted to say "meeting up with my gay friend" just to see if she's listening, but I dutifully say instead, as I always do, "Nothing." Pause. Wait.
"Okay we'll do a (cheerily) Family Dinner!!" Waah. Cool. Everyone sitting around in silence chewing their cud. Re-minisce nervously space-filling the silences with questions, which will eventually result in mom snapping at him "Stop bugging your dad!"
I can hardly wait.
Although if the Vet is really there, maybe I should just fly back now. Somebody kill me. They wouldn't. Would they? Argh!
Mum : "She's fair, slender, tall and pretty!"
Me : "Then why is her mom trying to hook her up with random blokes?"
Sod it, even if she were all of the above (fair. -200 immediately) which would be exceeeeedingly unlikely since mom's idea of pretty is. well. outmoded, shall we say. It'd still be a bad thing. hyperventilate. I can hear the wedding bells already. Help. Must escape. Need horse... No. Not for that! Grr. Run. Away.
*****
Other
What gives? Everytime I so much as touch food I feel all queasy?? I can't finish my meals?!? What's going on here. This is not normal. And just great, I'm feeling hungry again now.
*****
Gaydar
Argh. Apparently my err. relative. cough. rates 90% on the gay scale. Learning why, from an expert in the field has been an eye-opener.
designer underwear : +10%
able to bench-press everything : +10%
I am SO traumatised now. Suddenly, everyone and every body around me is taking on a different light. And is it just me, or are the men in singapore suddenly a whole lot... friendlier to each other... than when I remember them last?? It's only been 3 months dammit!!!
I'm told now that there's something different about the cheekbones. And the lips are a little bit poutier as well... why, we wonder... (discreet!) cough.
Argh! I remember the good-old days when it was as simple as an ear-ring. Left is right, and right is wrong. There. Sorted.
Then the water-bottle and towel variant. Can't miss that.
Uh. I wonder if leg-pressing 270 kg counts. Maybe I should shelve those plans of hitting the gym over the last few days of my holidays back in London... and er. what does songwriting on the piano do to the balance?? But but but but. what if there's no lyrics. yeah. just tunes. That's okay right? Right????
my eyes, my poor eyes. I want them closed again. whimper.
*****
