Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Reading some other people's blogs I can't help but feel a touch of envy at their piety and Faith in God.
I'm hardly pious. I can't even spell the word.
I don't always say prayers before bedtime. I don't often say prayers any other time except in church. I don't always say grace anymore, since I tend to miss meals. I don't read my bible enough. The last time I read my bible outside of church was a very long time ago, when I was trying to make sense of Luke. (Funny. I chose Luke for my confirmation. But I'd forgotten how I read Luke intensely as a kid, and chose it mainly because he was a physician, and all-round good guy - hopefully someone I can claim to be someday. That and there's no patron saint for butche... err barbe... err surgeons)
I don't pray to God for help with relationships, or for hope for relationships. I do pray occasionally for courage to face my life. And for love and comfort to the people I knew once, and know still. I have an aversion to what I term asking for lollipops and bicycles - the direct prayers, for healing of individuals, for rewards, for material Things. I never really managed to reconcile the two in my last relationship with a girl, and with her very devout Catholic family. Funny that, my relationship with her evolved into a relationship with her family. Never a good thing.
I guess I recoil instinctively at asking God for presents. Not because I don't have faith in Him, but because the bible is peppered with references to how He works in mysterious ways of His own choosing. And not Ours.
Today was a good day. An old friend did me an honour by writing her day to me in an email instead of blogging it. And in return I've done the same. I won't write more than how I'm rather bemused that a bad, bad day can be followed by a wonderful day, in the same A&E. With the same staff.
Life. Weird.
Real Life - not so good. Presentation to work out mane, and application to complete, all at the same time. How unpleasant.
Note to self : also have to apply for MRCS, BSS, and ISA. Agh. too much to do.
I'm hardly pious. I can't even spell the word.
I don't always say prayers before bedtime. I don't often say prayers any other time except in church. I don't always say grace anymore, since I tend to miss meals. I don't read my bible enough. The last time I read my bible outside of church was a very long time ago, when I was trying to make sense of Luke. (Funny. I chose Luke for my confirmation. But I'd forgotten how I read Luke intensely as a kid, and chose it mainly because he was a physician, and all-round good guy - hopefully someone I can claim to be someday. That and there's no patron saint for butche... err barbe... err surgeons)
I don't pray to God for help with relationships, or for hope for relationships. I do pray occasionally for courage to face my life. And for love and comfort to the people I knew once, and know still. I have an aversion to what I term asking for lollipops and bicycles - the direct prayers, for healing of individuals, for rewards, for material Things. I never really managed to reconcile the two in my last relationship with a girl, and with her very devout Catholic family. Funny that, my relationship with her evolved into a relationship with her family. Never a good thing.
I guess I recoil instinctively at asking God for presents. Not because I don't have faith in Him, but because the bible is peppered with references to how He works in mysterious ways of His own choosing. And not Ours.
Today was a good day. An old friend did me an honour by writing her day to me in an email instead of blogging it. And in return I've done the same. I won't write more than how I'm rather bemused that a bad, bad day can be followed by a wonderful day, in the same A&E. With the same staff.
Life. Weird.
Real Life - not so good. Presentation to work out mane, and application to complete, all at the same time. How unpleasant.
Note to self : also have to apply for MRCS, BSS, and ISA. Agh. too much to do.
