Saturday, August 30, 2003
Doctor's Blog
Stardate 25.08.2003
*****
I awake muzzily after a dream about Her, and find myself morosely wondering if it might have been nicer to have some company on this trip.
At breakfast, the Val(the landlady)'s ancient border collie sidles up to me for some attention. I pat and stroke him with relish. I haven't had a dog for ages. He's really slow, cam and sweet, and he puts his head in my lap as Val natters on to me about life in the Highlands after moving up from England, and about her two sightings of Nessie, (Just the back, mind.) and all the things I should get up to.
A half-hour later, I stand up to go. The dog gives me a soulful look and asks telepathically for some more attention. When this doesn't work, he puts out a paw tentatively and starts pawing me gently on the knee. Oh, what the hell, I've got time to kill...
Loch Ness
I take the Search for Nessie cruise which Val recommended as Extremely Interesting! And for the Ladies, the captain looks and sounds like Sean Connery!
Sean Connery, it seems, is indisposed for this trip and gets out of the boat for his younger colleague to captain our lake cruise.
Captain Bligh (well he looks like he should be a captain bligh) is a jaded scientific researcherwho has been Searching for Nessie for over two decades now and is slowly but surely losing hope. In his younger days, he Believed, not that there was a humungus Nessie somewhere in there, but rather there might be a shoal of undiscovered, two to three foot creatures living in the loch. He unloads numerous interesting scientific facts on us as we trawl the lake, sonar and underwater cam humming.
The loch is 270 metres deep at its deepest point, and the walls of the loch are extremely sheer. It is the second deepest lake in scotland, and the largest collection of freshwater in the entire UK. It alone is greater in volume than the all the other freshwater lakes of England, Wales and Scotland combined. It was carved during the ice-ages by moving glaciers, which eventually melted leaving behind the water that lies in it today. It has a seventy-two mile circumferance, and no connection to sea.
Captain Bligh also tells us the various theories he has advanced to explain away the numerous Nessie Sightings, two of which he has personally captured, and explained-away on film.
Could Nessie be a collection of seabirds flying in formation and kicking up a backwash of water, in the distance? His first sighting of a two-foot creature speeding along at eight miles an hour two kilometres away (verified by Navy experts), he realised years later as he watched a flock of these birds cruise by his boat, was definitely a flock of sea-fowl taking off.
Perhaps Nessie is a pair of seals, which occasionally find their way into the lake despite no connection to sea. Presumably they take a several mile forest walk just to enjoy the clear waters of Loch Ness, for their health.
Most probably, he thinks, Nessie is a ten foot catfish sighted as he sits half submerged on the shores of the loch (imagine the shock of seeing a face like that!), or the back of a fifteen foot pike.
The other tourists stay outside on the open back of the boat, scanning the lake for a glimpse of Nessie, studiously ignoring his disenchanted commentary. The Japanese tourists stay inside, staring, like rabbits caught in the headlamps of an oncoming truck at his sonar and underwatercam, playing back its pre-recorded sequence of mud, mud, and more mud.
I hesitate to point out to him that a ten foot catfish, or a twenty foot pike still go down, in my books, as monsters.
As we leave the boat, everyone else looks rather disappointed; I wonder why?
The Rest of the Day
The path to Loch Ness turns out to be rarely visited, and poorly accesible. My quest to walk on the shores of the lake is thwarted by the sheer and utter lack of sign posts of any form, and after half an hour I turn back for directions. On my second attempt, I walk through the field past two two-ton bovine creatures, ruminating. They stare uncuriously at me, waiting for the next thought to come to their minds between mouthfuls. I pass by and close the gate hurriedly behind me before it arrives.
Future adventurers in quest of the Elusive Shores of Loch Ness, take note : shortly after passing the Plains of Vicious Beasts, thou hast to ford a smalle river. Thereafter, traverse thee the maze of the National Reserve Forest which wille take thee some fifty minutes, before finding thyself on the Shore of the Ness.
The shore turned out to be a small stretch of pebble-beach, left entirely in its natural state. There are no walkways, and no reclaimed riversides. It is impossible to walk along the shore, as it is interspersed heavily by trees and waterways. The footpath did lead to a thirty foot stretch that could be loosely termed a beach, with a treestump on it, upon which I sat and basked in the sun, learnt to skip rocks over the water, and read Terry Pratchett, laughing quietly to myself, alone by the forsest for the entire afternoon. The occasional tourist walked by every few hours. Strange, that hordes of people flock to Loch Ness every month, but nobody actually seems interested in getting out to it, and being so close you could touch it.
Sometime during the afternoon, a pair of swans floated by and turned back to inspect the curious creature that had invaded their land. Naturally, I shot them.
I hope the photograph turns out well.
I walked the four mile journey from the Ness to the B&B in a hurry, another spectacular sunset fading slowly to night at my back. There are no lights on the country roads in scotland, except those of oncoming traffic.
Dinner that night was a Pot Noodle in my room, because I didn't feel like another extravagent dinner. And I realised, no, this holiday was special because I am alone. And completely, and utterly free to do pointless things like sit by Loch Ness and read, and, as my parents would fume in frustration, Waste Time.
And I am happy, and at peace.
Stardate 25.08.2003
*****
I awake muzzily after a dream about Her, and find myself morosely wondering if it might have been nicer to have some company on this trip.
At breakfast, the Val(the landlady)'s ancient border collie sidles up to me for some attention. I pat and stroke him with relish. I haven't had a dog for ages. He's really slow, cam and sweet, and he puts his head in my lap as Val natters on to me about life in the Highlands after moving up from England, and about her two sightings of Nessie, (Just the back, mind.) and all the things I should get up to.
A half-hour later, I stand up to go. The dog gives me a soulful look and asks telepathically for some more attention. When this doesn't work, he puts out a paw tentatively and starts pawing me gently on the knee. Oh, what the hell, I've got time to kill...
Loch Ness
I take the Search for Nessie cruise which Val recommended as Extremely Interesting! And for the Ladies, the captain looks and sounds like Sean Connery!
Sean Connery, it seems, is indisposed for this trip and gets out of the boat for his younger colleague to captain our lake cruise.
Captain Bligh (well he looks like he should be a captain bligh) is a jaded scientific researcherwho has been Searching for Nessie for over two decades now and is slowly but surely losing hope. In his younger days, he Believed, not that there was a humungus Nessie somewhere in there, but rather there might be a shoal of undiscovered, two to three foot creatures living in the loch. He unloads numerous interesting scientific facts on us as we trawl the lake, sonar and underwater cam humming.
The loch is 270 metres deep at its deepest point, and the walls of the loch are extremely sheer. It is the second deepest lake in scotland, and the largest collection of freshwater in the entire UK. It alone is greater in volume than the all the other freshwater lakes of England, Wales and Scotland combined. It was carved during the ice-ages by moving glaciers, which eventually melted leaving behind the water that lies in it today. It has a seventy-two mile circumferance, and no connection to sea.
Captain Bligh also tells us the various theories he has advanced to explain away the numerous Nessie Sightings, two of which he has personally captured, and explained-away on film.
Could Nessie be a collection of seabirds flying in formation and kicking up a backwash of water, in the distance? His first sighting of a two-foot creature speeding along at eight miles an hour two kilometres away (verified by Navy experts), he realised years later as he watched a flock of these birds cruise by his boat, was definitely a flock of sea-fowl taking off.
Perhaps Nessie is a pair of seals, which occasionally find their way into the lake despite no connection to sea. Presumably they take a several mile forest walk just to enjoy the clear waters of Loch Ness, for their health.
Most probably, he thinks, Nessie is a ten foot catfish sighted as he sits half submerged on the shores of the loch (imagine the shock of seeing a face like that!), or the back of a fifteen foot pike.
The other tourists stay outside on the open back of the boat, scanning the lake for a glimpse of Nessie, studiously ignoring his disenchanted commentary. The Japanese tourists stay inside, staring, like rabbits caught in the headlamps of an oncoming truck at his sonar and underwatercam, playing back its pre-recorded sequence of mud, mud, and more mud.
I hesitate to point out to him that a ten foot catfish, or a twenty foot pike still go down, in my books, as monsters.
As we leave the boat, everyone else looks rather disappointed; I wonder why?
The Rest of the Day
The path to Loch Ness turns out to be rarely visited, and poorly accesible. My quest to walk on the shores of the lake is thwarted by the sheer and utter lack of sign posts of any form, and after half an hour I turn back for directions. On my second attempt, I walk through the field past two two-ton bovine creatures, ruminating. They stare uncuriously at me, waiting for the next thought to come to their minds between mouthfuls. I pass by and close the gate hurriedly behind me before it arrives.
Future adventurers in quest of the Elusive Shores of Loch Ness, take note : shortly after passing the Plains of Vicious Beasts, thou hast to ford a smalle river. Thereafter, traverse thee the maze of the National Reserve Forest which wille take thee some fifty minutes, before finding thyself on the Shore of the Ness.
The shore turned out to be a small stretch of pebble-beach, left entirely in its natural state. There are no walkways, and no reclaimed riversides. It is impossible to walk along the shore, as it is interspersed heavily by trees and waterways. The footpath did lead to a thirty foot stretch that could be loosely termed a beach, with a treestump on it, upon which I sat and basked in the sun, learnt to skip rocks over the water, and read Terry Pratchett, laughing quietly to myself, alone by the forsest for the entire afternoon. The occasional tourist walked by every few hours. Strange, that hordes of people flock to Loch Ness every month, but nobody actually seems interested in getting out to it, and being so close you could touch it.
Sometime during the afternoon, a pair of swans floated by and turned back to inspect the curious creature that had invaded their land. Naturally, I shot them.
I hope the photograph turns out well.
I walked the four mile journey from the Ness to the B&B in a hurry, another spectacular sunset fading slowly to night at my back. There are no lights on the country roads in scotland, except those of oncoming traffic.
Dinner that night was a Pot Noodle in my room, because I didn't feel like another extravagent dinner. And I realised, no, this holiday was special because I am alone. And completely, and utterly free to do pointless things like sit by Loch Ness and read, and, as my parents would fume in frustration, Waste Time.
And I am happy, and at peace.
